| for the boy i love so deeply that never understood. |
[20 Feb 2007|07:35pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 poetic |
] |
| [ |
music |
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hiling-paramita |
] |
She,
who sits at the end of her origin,
quietly eating bipolar chocolate
in confusion
and dark wanting,
is the same little girl
who once painted the walls of the world
in grusome neon.(blind as death)
Flawless and virgin,
like the smell of pink cigarettes
in her mouth,
the boy she loved so deeply
never understood.
He would catch her licking blood
off of the moon,
absolute lust.
He picks up his guitar,
sings through the black smoke,
finds himself at her feet,
begging for more.
wrote this yesterday,
was sad.
putangina mo kasi e.
|
|
| fashyown. |
[07 Feb 2007|04:21am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 steady |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
song to say goodbye-placebo |
] |
sometimes my heart tricks me into thinking someone else would do.
it's a bad trick,one i know inside out.
i dwna drink anymore.lalo na smoke.but they're good friends when you're gone.
how's that?
|
|
| of loving you,losing you,and loving you so much more. |
[06 Jan 2007|08:45pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
falling away with you-muse |
] |
i want nothing and everything at the same time.i want to forgive you for everything but there's a fine line between being happy and pretending to be happy.i love you,there's no doubt.and i want you.i want only you.
but the switchblades inside my chest won't stop.
every word you deliver is a minute of pain
and every promise you make is a submission to solitude.
NO,this isn't goodbye.I'm not even letting go.I'll keep loving you inside me.
Everything will be mine for the taking now.
|
|
| do u want to come? |
[23 Aug 2006|06:38pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 ekstatik |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
dito tayo sa dilim-pedicab |
] |
INDIEBENILDE Party Launch
August 26, 2006, 8:00pm onwards
Music Station, Taft Avenue, Manila
P100 entrance with free drink
Featuring new videos by
EMERSON REYES
ANNIE BELDIA
KATZ DELFIN
JR SIOJO
MIGUEL ANTONION LOPEZ
LOVE NAKAGAWA
FERDINAND PISUEA JR.
NEIL ENRIQUEZ
plus screening of works by
RAINE ORALLO
ANTON MIGUEL HALAGUENA
PAOLO MIGUEL LOPEZ
JINO NICOLAS
the awarding of the IKA-9 & IKA-10 ASTIG CITATIONS
and a very special guest screening of new works by
ELVERT de la Cruz BANARES
performances by two DILAW and No Parking.
*err happy berday adi!
|
|
| 06-06-06 |
[06 Jun 2006|05:11pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 coping |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
noise |
] |
gusto ko pa.
( neruda )
*tear*
how beautiful.
|
|
| saying goodbye means not letting go. |
[05 Jun 2006|01:59pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 ________________ |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
silence |
] |
i just got out of the rollercoaster ride.it doesn't matter who gave up because it's over.it's too painful to hold in but it's just there inside my chest,like a burning flame that consumes me.but i couldn't cry.and i'm thankful for that in a way,i guess.
it was obvious how you didn't want to face me so i waited outside your door for four hours straight yesterday wanting to touch your face or breathe in your scent again.i asked you several times wishing inside my head that you'd still want to stay.but you gave up on me.but at least i got the closure that i needed.you kissed my hair,my forehead, and my eyes while you told me the L word.thank you for not kissing my lips,though,it would make it all the more painful.i wondered why you were crying so hard when i walked away.
it was the loneliest train ride ever.it's funny how the world seems normal on the outside but really dying inside.
words don't really contain feelings so i expect that whatever i write here would be an underestimation of what i'm really going through.but i'm ok,really.last night was good,actually.spent time with people who cared.i went home at 3am and you texted me how you're confused,and that you dwna close doors.you miss me already?
i don't know what's going to happen.but right now it's better this way.
oh God please give me strength.
|
|
| hurry before a parental unit sees me crying. |
[31 May 2006|02:12am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
i miss you |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
how to deal-frankie j |
] |
jealous of:
couples holding hands
snuggling at the lrt
boys kissing girl's forehead
bringing her flowers
making her
laugh
laugh
laugh
making her happy.
i miss the US we used to be.
i miss how we could have been.
crying again.i'm glad nobody reads my blog.
wish it was easier for both of us.
|
|
| xxx. |
[26 May 2006|05:42pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sabik sa'yo |
] |
you are the title of my disease.
and this is how i understand why a sin
always seeks its sinner-
to bathe in flesh and understand the truth.
cure me,parasite
as if i was your own wound
or else i would die having my
death wish named after you.
or for you.
( you're no stranger,you're my gravity )
|
|
| assasination. |
[19 May 2006|08:51pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 suicidal |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
the ecxecution of all things-rilo kiley |
] |
Soldiers come quickly, I feel the earth beneath my feet.
I'm feeling badly, IT'S NOT AN ATTEMPT AT DECENCY.
And if you're well off, well then I'm happy some for you.
But I'd rather not celebrate my defeat and humiliation here with you.
..and lastly, you're all alone with nothing left but sleep.
But sleep never comes to you, it's just the guilt and forever wakefulness of
the weak.
IT'S JUST YOU AND ME.
The execution of all things.
The execution of all things.
The execution of all things.
-rilo kiley
it is a known fact that people say "bless you" when someone sneezes because when we sneeze,our heart stops for a millisecond.no wonder why i sneezed several times today.maybe my heart just wants to stop-to stop feeling,to stop beating.all i wanted was for you to need me the way i need you.but fcuk needing.fcuk needing you.
i want to be near you as much as i want to be away from you.
God,this is death.this is assasination.
|
|
| a tribute to 10232001. |
[14 May 2006|12:50am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 reminiscent |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
crazy over you-112 |
] |
i know.this is probably insane.relationship suicide.but i feel i have to do this somehow,at this right time when we both are happy with somebody else,and moved on with our lives.i'm with ton now,and this entry has nothing to do with anything.defensive?just being safe.
this is a tribute entry to my ex.(i know.u can gasp.)we've been together for almost 3 years,but had a "thing" for about 3 more before we got together.i'm writing this because i know and admit that 10232001 is a BIG part of my life,and i probably wouldn't have the chance to say the words left unspoken anymore.i do have regrets that we lost touch after we broke up.i miss the friendship.i do miss the person.
if only YOU could read this right now.
( here goes nothing )
so there.this may well be the only time i can ever say this again and 10232001 will always have a place.
the end.
|
|
| u want the truth? |
[08 May 2006|01:15am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 NR |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
rampqueen-tala |
] |
sa mga bagay na hindi ko masabi.
sa mga bagay na walang tama at sapat na mga salita upang mailahad.
sa mga luha sa likod ng nagmimistulang ngiti.
sa litrato.
nasa litrato ang linlang.
|
|
| holweekendholiday. |
[25 Apr 2006|12:58pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
parang fumafvck |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
49-flickersoul |
] |
HOlyweekend.HOliday.HOneybunny.hohoho.summer has been pretty okay so far despite the fact that i'm broke and ton is far away and tamad ako to do stuff.ugh.i need to go to school pa pala to adjust kaya lang nakakatamad isipin ang LRT rides.
rar.anyhoo i went to the beach twice already,sa san fabian beach nung holyweek then at anilao for the spo teambuilding nung wed til fri.ang itim ko na!!pero in all honesty,i had fun.i had second thoughts about the teambuilding at first kasi wala akong close friends dun.Dein naman ako madaldal sa opis pag andun ako pero ngayon solb na yahooo.:) made good friends with great people tapos nicole,my editor,asked na if i could train next term to be the asst.literary editor.woohoo pero big responsibility.owel.:d pinoy big brother teen edition is on!nakakagulat si mikee,my brother's bestfriend nung grade school heehee.he joined pbb pla!nice young boy kaya siya iboboto ko!har!!:)
( kjg3rejigxjhqlu3 )
anyhoo.i wonder how the rest of my summer will go.i swear i'm trying to be productive,like helping mom with her flipflops business and all.yo bili pala kayo!http://ilovehappythings.multiply.com/ :)
At this point I want to:
a)dye my hair pink again(just do it already!!)
b)watch d'lucky ones kasi sandara is cute
c)read atleast 2 good books
d)go to the ukay ukay
e)recreate my old clothes
that's all for now see you soon buhbye.
|
|
| ikaw at ako,habangbuhay. |
[14 Apr 2006|02:04am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 inlab talaga |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
love song-311 |
] |
if you were here in front of me right now,i'll tell you without holding back,that i love you so much.thank you.you keep me ALIVE.
lagi mong tinatanong,at ito ang sagot ko ngayon.ang magiging sagot ko lagi-
saiyo lang ako.
i'll miss you this summer,handsome.
|
|
| if you were homework,i'd do you. |
[08 Apr 2006|01:14am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
weird |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
eyeliner-armi millare |
] |
i lust you.
i'm so in lust with you.
that's all i have to say for now.
|
|
| quiet poeticness. |
[30 Mar 2006|11:57am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 high |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
june-up dharma down |
] |
i read my last entry,and gawd i hated the poem i wrote.so i wrote another one today.gah.i hope i still like this one tomorrow.
The old language you wanted to speak was
Right in front of you:
Two-way oval trees
In the shadows of a weeping circus
An upturned face card(the cheat)
Your first orgasm.
Vinyl.
Reciprocity.
Nothing silenced you anymore.
However,
Liquor distorted your ideologies
As you (for)bid me farewell
When I was (up)holding you in the rain.
We said the L word so softly
That I forgot if it even mattered.
You always loved this kind of randomness-
The impalpability attracts you so often
That you lust it like opium.
You love details and how they surprise you
And this is how I surprise you:
Polka-dot party dress.
A revolution.
Lolita.
A refusing space.
Idiosyncrasies,
Vainglory.
oh dear i still have soo much to do!right now i just want to do anything random like
-eat three scoops of ice cream(chocolatemangostrawberry would be nice)
-ukay-ukay(is that random?)
-watch 3 Ninjas or Romy and Michele's Hihschool Reunion,or old cartoons like gem,mr bogus or the littlest petshop
-have coffee with my grade school best friend
-look for my first girl crush's friendster account(did i just say friendster?)
-hug my mom and dad
-dye my dog ostrich's fur pink
-take a picture with a real mime
-neoprint with ton or with the firepeople
-sleep sleep sleep
-eat eat eat
th end.
P.S.ice age 2=love
:)
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